I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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