Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
