**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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