btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
