please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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