it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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