Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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