In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize