Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Randomize
