Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
