Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
