You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
So much rum. So many feels.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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