It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
My ass is underappreciated
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
