nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize