As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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