At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
