I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
