I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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