that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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