I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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