I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
