so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
