I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I haven't been this sober since birth.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
