i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
You may now shotgun with the bride
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
