I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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