Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
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