apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
