i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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