i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize