I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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