I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
