so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
