I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
