Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
