oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
