Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
