My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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