I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Why is your signature on my underwear?
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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