it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
