He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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