my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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