I'm really into asian looking animals
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
