if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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