I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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