im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Randomize
