oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
