Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
it hurts more in the daytime
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
You ate ashes out of my bong
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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