I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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