the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
