I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
