What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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