I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
