Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
