I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
