Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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