i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
