I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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