Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
