They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
