i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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