just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Panties = found
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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