I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
