I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
