Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
