I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I think I have vodka in my lungs
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
