Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
