I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
